Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
