Sry I called you an 8
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
