Will you blow on my dice?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
