Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
