dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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