just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
