Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
