I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need to stop coming to work sober
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
