just tell him i said nine months
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
