I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
