I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
