btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
