Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
