how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
