it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
