Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
