So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
