If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
