"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
