My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
