I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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