Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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