If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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