R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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