The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
