just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
