she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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