Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
