I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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