Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
cat food counts as protein by the way
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
