Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
