it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
