hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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