DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
