Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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