Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
