I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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