My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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