My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
