It's Friday. Sex?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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