i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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