so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
