i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
