Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
