Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
