Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
