i think my mom watched the whole time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
