After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
