just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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