i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
