We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
